// Prolly the worst feeling in the world //

Don't you just hate the feeling when you get disappointed at yourself or someone else?
You know that shitty feeling and it's so shitty you know, just so shitty.
whether is it a test you prepared for a long period, a performance you practiced so hard, maybe even disappointing someone who had a little expectation from you.
And you wish you could be given a second chance but then it's impossible.

Recently, don't ask why but due to a certain issue, i just felt so disappointed in myself.
It wasn't the results that disappointed me, it was that i didn't take the full use of the chance i was given in the beginning despite knowing what the outcomes would be.
And it's so saddening cause there's no turning back.
Although i know i could have done a better job than before,
it's over.
And i start to blame myself and get all sad.
Then maybe after awhile i decide to pull myself together and do my best with what i got
but everytime i turn around, i see my mistake is still following me
and i get so frustrated, confused and angry at myself.
But it's already too late.

Yes that feeling.
It's so crappy and sad
and it's worst when you disappoint someone.
you get scared that they'll give up on you and all.
and it's like you couldn't even accomplish a little of their expectation from you.
sigh.

And i guess everyone deserves a second chance but not everyone is given a second chance.
This is prolly the worst feeling in the world.

Childhood

nihaoma hahahaha

pardon my lack of update of my blog man
eoy was pretty much a burden sigh
in a few more months, 2013 will be ending man wow that's quickkk
sooo although children day past last week I decided to blog about it
yes i am aware that i'm 14 already HAHAA

Okay so i was born in Korea on 14 of feb.
My parents had to stop working (( in singapore )) and went back to give birth
to my bro and i.
i stayed in korea for about 2 weeks and then came back to sg hahah
my childhood was practically spent in sg
so much memories man gosh

I remember my old house had a backyard which we (( neighbour's kids )) would run around
playing catching and hide and seek, then we would play hopscotch and all the other games.
it was really unforgettable sigh
then we would like play with chalks and like doodle on the floor and when it rains, the chalk would be
washed off and i would cry about it really hard HAHAHAAH
then we would spend days running around and all
sigh those days man

(( graduation picture ))

kindergarden was the best man, i attended a church like school hahaha
we would play, learn, dance and all
then teachers would usually ask what we wanted to be when we grew up
" policeman! "
" doctor! "
" hmm, teacher! "
these were the common answers hahaha
i wanted to be a model (( according to my mama ))

I swear when i was younger everything seemed really carefree and fun.
my bestie was disney channel, my love was alphabet biscuits and my fav was dolls and toys.
I was looking forward to growing up to live with my friend or even myself.
but now i don't wish to grow up.
When i was younger, my family and i would always have family outings to the beach,
malaysia and all.
OMG I STILL REMEMBER WHEN MY BRO AND I WOULD FIGHT ABOUT
THE CHANNELS AHAHHA
I WOULD WANT TO WATCH HIFIVE AND HE WOULD WANT TO WATCH
POWER RANGERS AHAAHHAHA
then my gameboy omg HAAHAH i would play Mario or Pokemon omg
all that childhood stuff omg ahahah
But now that we all grew up, things have changed a lot sigh.

p3. it was exactly p3 when all the drama started HAHAHAHAH
crappy huh ikr
i had many besties from both genders hahaha
belinda germaine tommy chun hung yeahhh
everyday i would fight and dislike one of the girls and all the immature crap
and till this day, i wonder why was i so immature and basic when i was younger.
despite that i'm glad to be still in touch with belinda bby

As i grew, things got worst man its like both in a good and bad way i guess
And i'm glad for the things that happened so far cause they made me who i am now
i really wished i could control time sigh haha
but since i cant, i learnt to live in that moment and enjoy it.

happy belated childrens day i guess HAAHAHAH
peter pan once said " dont grow up, it's a trap."

i really like that line HAHAAH

(( deep ))

Omg yes guy i finally got my penny bby omgomgomg

i got the same one as joy yes i know we fab HHAHAHA

we cruise around a lot now omg its damn fun

my bby its so purdy

so for the past few days i either cruise or go out or just lay at home

watching many episodes of Pretty Little Liars ITS SO NICE OMG while enjoying my cup of 

hot chocolate with marshmallows hahaha Swiss Miss has the best hot choco with marshmallows

i swear

okay so now our results are out and i'm disappointed with myself sigh

anyways next week we're confirming our class and all so I'm pretty afraid

2014 is right around the corner sigh. it's goodbye to my seniors and friends soon

good luck to the people taking their o's!

It's so sad my seniors are leaving and i'm getting separated from my friends soon sigh

goodbye xx

Death

So remember when I blogged about " appreciation " ?

Yeah trust me you really should appreciate okay.

So recently, my fav uncle who isn't blood related to me, past on and he's watching me from the heavens.

He left me on 14th august (( my bro's birthday ))

I don't know, it's like he was a super amazing uncle. I regret not keeping in touch.

But who knew. Sigh.

He was a christian who really loved and respect god.

He knew me since I was a fetus and he always did the best to make me smile.

He would scold me when I didn't finish my math homework he gave,

He would scold me when I threw my vege away,

He would comfort me whenever I had a nightmare,

He would insist to give me and my family the best,

He would save the best for me,

He would compliment me for everything stupid i did,

He was always there for me.

I last saw him last year, and he had a throat operation and couldn't eat solid food and could only drink special milk.

I never knew he would leave us so early and I still can't believe he left us. God must have wanted him next to him huh. Then now my aunt is really sad and I feel terrible cause I can't do anything for her. She must be really affected and shocked and lonely. Sigh.

Mama chei then told me " for people in our age, even being able to wake up and see day light is already a bonus ".

Sigh. uncle lawrence, i know you left us already, please look over my family and aunt mary.

We miss you so much and we love you so much.

I'm really sorry i didn't visit you much. But at least you don't need to be in pain everyday, now you're finally free :')

I still can't believe you're up there sigh please rest in peace and i love you x

Fall

(( outfit for the band event ))

 (( Gardens by the bay ))

(( stephanie's house hahah sleepover that night ))

meow 

(( Legs ))

It's amazing how time passes so fast. It's already going September, gosh.

Sometimes, I feel it's too fast, I can't even catch up.

This year sure was amazing though.

Okay so for the past few days, It was just non stop mugging.

There were like tests everyday ugh.

Anyhow, I really look forward to the upcoming holiday.

It's " fall " ! I can't wait haha.

August was a tough month, I went through a lot. But well, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

August was basically just all about my thoughts, new discoveries, flashbacks and mugging.

Also, suddenly it's like I started communicating with people I drifted apart from. Although It's still damn awkward, It's gonna be all alright as long as both try!

So like I said above, New discoveries.

I got closer with a lot of people I never knew I would be close with ahah.

I discovered so much.

And I have this obsession with Lenka, dubstep and imagine dragons!

They are just perf.

roarr hahah music makes me happy, helps me stop overthinking and salvages my confidence :')

Sigh mama chei been recently talking to me about my future. I feel so afraid to grow up.

It's like soon, I'll be all on my own, earning money. Sigh.

I tried picturing myself 20 years down the road and I swear I felt afraid. 

after seeing my seniors stressed, I don't know sigh

Okay since the holidays are coming up, I figure I'll have enough time to blog again. Maybe I'll do some fun post ahahahah look out alright xx

  

sad

Basically, this post isn't gonna be the usual ones I post hahha.

It's gonna be more personal i guess.

It's been pretty bad for me hhaahaha,

So for the past month, I have to admit I went through things I've never thought I'll go through

NEVER I swear.

It's like things just never stop getting from bad to worst. 

And I have to say I wasn't able cope with it hahaha.

But well at least now I'm all mighty again. HAHA

Okay. Firstly, I guess that bothered me the most was, when I " lost " someone I never knew I would.

It was like something that used to be part of me was tore off.

I didn't know what to do of course. I was like lost.

Then came the overthinking part, hahah.

I figured it was my fault. Even though it wasn't. I thought that I was a problem.

" maybe I'm the one who causes the problem "

" maybe I was the reason why he/she cried "

Secondly, it was faking it.

I thought if I pretended to be happy, everything would be fine. But no. It got worst.

sigh ahaha. 

Lastly, it was about someone. I'm not gonna say more already cause then it'll be obvious.

But let me just say this. Toying with someone is not cool.

Have you ever consider how she'll feel?

Guys can be so heartless i swear.

It's like they stab you so hard and they don't know.

thanks to my mum and my friends hahaha.

restless nights and puffy eyes were put to a stop.

So whatever it is, just don't be negative, cause it can't solve shit. look at the positive side.

Don't even think of doing stupid things okay. 

The reason why I did this post isn't only to tell my story, and advice you, but it's also so in the future 

I can look back at this again so I won't redo my mistakes.

hahaha I'm sorry if it's damn wordy hahaha

and feel free to kik me @woooolicious if you want to share your story!

Stay strong, lovlies xx

Update to my life

I'm backkk. okay hi there, these days I've been running around, doing things I had to.

Really busy hmph

Last last friday, Joy and I had the Birthday cake frap from Coffee bean. It was instagrammed // yes it's a word ahhahah // so much, I had to go try it! so  I did, and it was super nice. It was like cake in a cup. Legit awesome shitzzz HAAH

And last friday, I had yogurt from Venezia, a yogurt store at the basement of Tiong barhu.

The cup they gave me was flicking fabulously cute i swear. 

On Sunday, my family and I went to watch the movie " Secretly Greatly ". I swear you have to go watch it. 

Lee hyun woo, Kim Soo hyun and Park ki woong, I swear the cutest and my favorite actors in one movie omg omg omg omg. GO WATCH IT. 

And Jeslin and I has become gym buddies, together with megan and sometimes Shulin!

And I reunited with swirlart, My babe ahahah

Dinner with Megan after our duty. I absolutely love my duty ahha. It's that i teach kids who aren't well off.

They are like little ducklings. Supar qt. The buddy is teach is called, Iqbal HAHA. He's like a monkey ahhaha

SWIRLART MY BABE. YES I WENT CRAYCRAY.

These days, I'm going home pretty late hmmph. But don't worry, look forward to more fun videos coming up! Thanks for reading xx

flashback to Korea

I know this is long over and all but since paying a visit to my hometown isn't a regular thing, i shall just blog about it. Korea is a damn fun country i swear hahahah.

Honestly, I didn't used to like the fact that i was a Korean but i shan't go very deep into that part haha

But now i swear i love it. It's my country and i'm proud to be a korean.

I won't blog every single detail cause then it'll be a super long blog post ahahah

okay so let me start with the plane ride. I swear okay, the ride was so shaky, I almost barfed hahah

I'm sure you guys don't know but I have motion sickness and so even if I read a book on the bus ride, I'll just go sick and nauseous. And the plane ride was 6 CRAY HOURS omg.

hash tag worth it HAHA

after we got off the plane, I got some Jumba Juice which was like the best

from Incheon airport, we then took a bus to my hometown, Ilsan. 

me, goofing around HAHAHA

The weather was pretty chilly like 15 to 17 degrees Celsius.

We couldn't do anything much on the first day, cause we were tired and granny fell down while she went out to get something for us to eat when we were sleeping. 

Luckily someone saw her and called the ambulance.

And for the next few days, we couldn't go anywhere far because granny had to get surgery so we had to be there for her. But it wasn't very boring cause my bro and i did a lot of crazy stuffs hahahha 

we took a walk around the neighbourhood and I met my bestie AHHAHA

''ya' know just copying the people on tumblr "

THIS ASDFGHJKL. My all time fav. They were having a sale at Lotte so my bro got sour rainbow and I got cotton flavoured dippin dots!

the next day, I went hunting down my mum's photo albums cause I'm a creeper HAHAHAH

I found a lot of photos I swear but I'm not going to post all ahhahahh hash tag aint nobody got time for that !

ARIZONA MYBABE 

SO SWEET RIGHT! 

mum just being the tumblr girl HAHAH

after that, in the afternoon, we headed off to myeongdong to shop hahaha

I don't really have a picture there cause my phone died halfway

but I have like one when i was on the car

and those of you who don't know Myeongdong, it's known as "heaven for shopaholics" aka orchard road or bugis! craycray crowded

For the next two days, we stayed at home, studied, met my great aunt and uncle for dinner and visited my grandma. We had to stay there pretty long because my grandma had to have the mir scanned. And on the 15, my cousin came to our neighbourhood to "fetch" us to her house.

After a damn long ride // we almost got lost cause our gps was so old and it didn't have the new roads on the map hahah but we managed to reach before midnight // , we reached !

On the 17, we drove around the neighbourhood and had lunch with my aunt and uncle.

we stopped by a river beside a temple for a snack 

I went in the temple ahhahaah it had like wifi in it and my bro was like "they need wifi to pray"

if you look closely , there were like five thousand moths flying around on the floor

I reunited with my baby // peach flavoured  ice cubes //

the river 

my bro was stealing my baby :(((

OH MY NIECE AHHAHA MY AUNT'S PREGNANT I CANT WAIT TO MEET HER OMG

On the 18th, we went to the korean version of DFS hahaha. All the branded goods were there and we watched MAN OF STEEL

 It was super nice, funny and had lots of action.

Then we watched to Galleria and had our dinner there hahah 

The top level had this buffet restaurant called Ashley, It was so good eating there! but I have no photos cause I was too busy eating ahahha so I researched on google so credits to the photo owners!

yumzzzzz

On the 19, we went to Gangnam to shop ahahah. Nope, yes i know you'll be "gangnam style?" but no, gangnam is other area also known for for the food and clothes.

Lunch, cheese pizza ahhaah it was so nice, we literally almost ate the pan ahaha, scrapping the sides for more cheese HAAHAHAH

The salad spaghetti ! It was nice but I preferred the cheese pizza ahahha

 I swear the people there were so nice, they were like hi-fiving people ahhah

Then we shopped , tho we didn't buy much. My cousin bought me a supar cute ring and I bought her the kitty ears headband ahaha

On the 20th, we went Asan // my cousin's neighbourhood // and rediscovered the area.

We had a chocolate brownie for a snack

And green tea " ice kachang ". It's not the same as ice kachang but same concept, blended ice , if that had sense.

and after that we went for last minute shopping. I bought many clothes, presents and accessories! 

On the 21, we went EVERLAND yes I know hahaha

It was super craycray! we literally rode everything we saw. Every single one except one which wasn't available to ride because the tracks of the ride goes into a jungle and a few years ago, someone fell off the ride and died. So yeah. 

Our few favorites among all! This rollarcoaster was made of wood and i swear it was damn scary but super fun. We rode it over and over HAHAH

This is the ride which was also fun but it made me puke HHAHA too dizzy!

This was also amazing but too short. The ride ended within 40secs!

The viking was very average hahah

The tornado ride. It's craycray

The lace there was like a piece of art! After all the craziness, we walked around and I found these flowers. Super purdy and fun right!

QT CUZZZZY :***

Then on the 22nd, we stayed at home totally cause we went home super late from Everland the day before and we were so tired we couldn't wake up AHHAH.

So we had a backyard bbq at night and my cuzzy and i stayed up to watch Tororo. And I learned the behind story of Tororo.

23rd, the day we left Asan. Due to some issues, we were returning to Singapore earlier. And sadly I had to leave them. It was so sad because my cuzzy was the best and so was my other two cuzzy. I almost teared but I didn't cry!

My cuzzy, uncle and aunt. The other two cuzzies had to leave early cause they had a job interview so yeah :((((( 

And on the 24th and 25th, I went around doing last minute shopping and followed my mum to night market at Dongdaemun // the heart of night market // 

I manage to get many clothes HAHAHA.

The coolest things were how the night market were held and how the sky would be as bright as 8am in Singapore when it was 5am in Korea!

Yeah this is long enough right HAHAHH, I had so much fun putting together the memories in Korea! Hope you enjoyed the post, sorry if it's too long!

Love ya' xx