okay new year, new me.

Honestly isnt it funny how every year you do stupid stuffs and you regret and then the following year you make resolutions and you give up halfway and then the cycle goes on.
So i know im a little late on this but 2013 has been a really wild year. i met a lot of people and i found my real friends.
many tears were shed and lots of memories were made but whatever it is im thankful for whatever that has happened because it made me who i am today. Many friends drifted, many left and many came.
2013 passed really fast and a lot has happened so as that a lot has changed.

i'll be lying if i said i didnt change. despite everything im proud i survived 2013.
i'm someone who gets attached to someone really easily and sometimes i seem egoistic but actually im just scared. i am someone who would agonize over someone special for hours, cry and blame myself. this is me i guess. i cant control it and i hate myself for that. someone said i looked unapproachable so i plan to smile more hahaha.

2014 will be different. im tired of getting unappreciated and im tired of trying. i want to let go.
well this year looks pretty exciting.
okay time for pictures HAHAH

last 2c bbq

jeslin my bby

i look short but prom 

prom

prom

at school with hermanda

with devon

fav senior

ewen hahah

ffl

great wall of china

AHAHAH joy

baobei

khaiiii

brenda yay

belinda bby

wanqian AHAHA

hongkai yay

bij

this bangla

in the train yay

xoxo

val x

yaohui HAHA

okay these are the people who helped me a lot in 2013. there are a lot more actually (( chin fern, ian etc )) but i never had a proper picture with them x

// Prolly the worst feeling in the world //

Don't you just hate the feeling when you get disappointed at yourself or someone else?
You know that shitty feeling and it's so shitty you know, just so shitty.
whether is it a test you prepared for a long period, a performance you practiced so hard, maybe even disappointing someone who had a little expectation from you.
And you wish you could be given a second chance but then it's impossible.

Recently, don't ask why but due to a certain issue, i just felt so disappointed in myself.
It wasn't the results that disappointed me, it was that i didn't take the full use of the chance i was given in the beginning despite knowing what the outcomes would be.
And it's so saddening cause there's no turning back.
Although i know i could have done a better job than before,
it's over.
And i start to blame myself and get all sad.
Then maybe after awhile i decide to pull myself together and do my best with what i got
but everytime i turn around, i see my mistake is still following me
and i get so frustrated, confused and angry at myself.
But it's already too late.

Yes that feeling.
It's so crappy and sad
and it's worst when you disappoint someone.
you get scared that they'll give up on you and all.
and it's like you couldn't even accomplish a little of their expectation from you.
sigh.

And i guess everyone deserves a second chance but not everyone is given a second chance.
This is prolly the worst feeling in the world.

Childhood

nihaoma hahahaha

pardon my lack of update of my blog man
eoy was pretty much a burden sigh
in a few more months, 2013 will be ending man wow that's quickkk
sooo although children day past last week I decided to blog about it
yes i am aware that i'm 14 already HAHAA

Okay so i was born in Korea on 14 of feb.
My parents had to stop working (( in singapore )) and went back to give birth
to my bro and i.
i stayed in korea for about 2 weeks and then came back to sg hahah
my childhood was practically spent in sg
so much memories man gosh

I remember my old house had a backyard which we (( neighbour's kids )) would run around
playing catching and hide and seek, then we would play hopscotch and all the other games.
it was really unforgettable sigh
then we would like play with chalks and like doodle on the floor and when it rains, the chalk would be
washed off and i would cry about it really hard HAHAHAAH
then we would spend days running around and all
sigh those days man

(( graduation picture ))

kindergarden was the best man, i attended a church like school hahaha
we would play, learn, dance and all
then teachers would usually ask what we wanted to be when we grew up
" policeman! "
" doctor! "
" hmm, teacher! "
these were the common answers hahaha
i wanted to be a model (( according to my mama ))

I swear when i was younger everything seemed really carefree and fun.
my bestie was disney channel, my love was alphabet biscuits and my fav was dolls and toys.
I was looking forward to growing up to live with my friend or even myself.
but now i don't wish to grow up.
When i was younger, my family and i would always have family outings to the beach,
malaysia and all.
OMG I STILL REMEMBER WHEN MY BRO AND I WOULD FIGHT ABOUT
THE CHANNELS AHAHHA
I WOULD WANT TO WATCH HIFIVE AND HE WOULD WANT TO WATCH
POWER RANGERS AHAAHHAHA
then my gameboy omg HAAHAH i would play Mario or Pokemon omg
all that childhood stuff omg ahahah
But now that we all grew up, things have changed a lot sigh.

p3. it was exactly p3 when all the drama started HAHAHAHAH
crappy huh ikr
i had many besties from both genders hahaha
belinda germaine tommy chun hung yeahhh
everyday i would fight and dislike one of the girls and all the immature crap
and till this day, i wonder why was i so immature and basic when i was younger.
despite that i'm glad to be still in touch with belinda bby

As i grew, things got worst man its like both in a good and bad way i guess
And i'm glad for the things that happened so far cause they made me who i am now
i really wished i could control time sigh haha
but since i cant, i learnt to live in that moment and enjoy it.

happy belated childrens day i guess HAAHAHAH
peter pan once said " dont grow up, it's a trap."

i really like that line HAHAAH

(( deep ))

Omg yes guy i finally got my penny bby omgomgomg

i got the same one as joy yes i know we fab HHAHAHA

we cruise around a lot now omg its damn fun

my bby its so purdy

so for the past few days i either cruise or go out or just lay at home

watching many episodes of Pretty Little Liars ITS SO NICE OMG while enjoying my cup of 

hot chocolate with marshmallows hahaha Swiss Miss has the best hot choco with marshmallows

i swear

okay so now our results are out and i'm disappointed with myself sigh

anyways next week we're confirming our class and all so I'm pretty afraid

2014 is right around the corner sigh. it's goodbye to my seniors and friends soon

good luck to the people taking their o's!

It's so sad my seniors are leaving and i'm getting separated from my friends soon sigh

goodbye xx

Death

So remember when I blogged about " appreciation " ?

Yeah trust me you really should appreciate okay.

So recently, my fav uncle who isn't blood related to me, past on and he's watching me from the heavens.

He left me on 14th august (( my bro's birthday ))

I don't know, it's like he was a super amazing uncle. I regret not keeping in touch.

But who knew. Sigh.

He was a christian who really loved and respect god.

He knew me since I was a fetus and he always did the best to make me smile.

He would scold me when I didn't finish my math homework he gave,

He would scold me when I threw my vege away,

He would comfort me whenever I had a nightmare,

He would insist to give me and my family the best,

He would save the best for me,

He would compliment me for everything stupid i did,

He was always there for me.

I last saw him last year, and he had a throat operation and couldn't eat solid food and could only drink special milk.

I never knew he would leave us so early and I still can't believe he left us. God must have wanted him next to him huh. Then now my aunt is really sad and I feel terrible cause I can't do anything for her. She must be really affected and shocked and lonely. Sigh.

Mama chei then told me " for people in our age, even being able to wake up and see day light is already a bonus ".

Sigh. uncle lawrence, i know you left us already, please look over my family and aunt mary.

We miss you so much and we love you so much.

I'm really sorry i didn't visit you much. But at least you don't need to be in pain everyday, now you're finally free :')

I still can't believe you're up there sigh please rest in peace and i love you x

Fall

(( outfit for the band event ))

 (( Gardens by the bay ))

(( stephanie's house hahah sleepover that night ))

meow 

(( Legs ))

It's amazing how time passes so fast. It's already going September, gosh.

Sometimes, I feel it's too fast, I can't even catch up.

This year sure was amazing though.

Okay so for the past few days, It was just non stop mugging.

There were like tests everyday ugh.

Anyhow, I really look forward to the upcoming holiday.

It's " fall " ! I can't wait haha.

August was a tough month, I went through a lot. But well, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

August was basically just all about my thoughts, new discoveries, flashbacks and mugging.

Also, suddenly it's like I started communicating with people I drifted apart from. Although It's still damn awkward, It's gonna be all alright as long as both try!

So like I said above, New discoveries.

I got closer with a lot of people I never knew I would be close with ahah.

I discovered so much.

And I have this obsession with Lenka, dubstep and imagine dragons!

They are just perf.

roarr hahah music makes me happy, helps me stop overthinking and salvages my confidence :')

Sigh mama chei been recently talking to me about my future. I feel so afraid to grow up.

It's like soon, I'll be all on my own, earning money. Sigh.

I tried picturing myself 20 years down the road and I swear I felt afraid. 

after seeing my seniors stressed, I don't know sigh

Okay since the holidays are coming up, I figure I'll have enough time to blog again. Maybe I'll do some fun post ahahahah look out alright xx

  

sad

Basically, this post isn't gonna be the usual ones I post hahha.

It's gonna be more personal i guess.

It's been pretty bad for me hhaahaha,

So for the past month, I have to admit I went through things I've never thought I'll go through

NEVER I swear.

It's like things just never stop getting from bad to worst. 

And I have to say I wasn't able cope with it hahaha.

But well at least now I'm all mighty again. HAHA

Okay. Firstly, I guess that bothered me the most was, when I " lost " someone I never knew I would.

It was like something that used to be part of me was tore off.

I didn't know what to do of course. I was like lost.

Then came the overthinking part, hahah.

I figured it was my fault. Even though it wasn't. I thought that I was a problem.

" maybe I'm the one who causes the problem "

" maybe I was the reason why he/she cried "

Secondly, it was faking it.

I thought if I pretended to be happy, everything would be fine. But no. It got worst.

sigh ahaha. 

Lastly, it was about someone. I'm not gonna say more already cause then it'll be obvious.

But let me just say this. Toying with someone is not cool.

Have you ever consider how she'll feel?

Guys can be so heartless i swear.

It's like they stab you so hard and they don't know.

thanks to my mum and my friends hahaha.

restless nights and puffy eyes were put to a stop.

So whatever it is, just don't be negative, cause it can't solve shit. look at the positive side.

Don't even think of doing stupid things okay. 

The reason why I did this post isn't only to tell my story, and advice you, but it's also so in the future 

I can look back at this again so I won't redo my mistakes.

hahaha I'm sorry if it's damn wordy hahaha

and feel free to kik me @woooolicious if you want to share your story!

Stay strong, lovlies xx

Update to my life

I'm backkk. okay hi there, these days I've been running around, doing things I had to.

Really busy hmph

Last last friday, Joy and I had the Birthday cake frap from Coffee bean. It was instagrammed // yes it's a word ahhahah // so much, I had to go try it! so  I did, and it was super nice. It was like cake in a cup. Legit awesome shitzzz HAAH

And last friday, I had yogurt from Venezia, a yogurt store at the basement of Tiong barhu.

The cup they gave me was flicking fabulously cute i swear. 

On Sunday, my family and I went to watch the movie " Secretly Greatly ". I swear you have to go watch it. 

Lee hyun woo, Kim Soo hyun and Park ki woong, I swear the cutest and my favorite actors in one movie omg omg omg omg. GO WATCH IT. 

And Jeslin and I has become gym buddies, together with megan and sometimes Shulin!

And I reunited with swirlart, My babe ahahah

Dinner with Megan after our duty. I absolutely love my duty ahha. It's that i teach kids who aren't well off.

They are like little ducklings. Supar qt. The buddy is teach is called, Iqbal HAHA. He's like a monkey ahhaha

SWIRLART MY BABE. YES I WENT CRAYCRAY.

These days, I'm going home pretty late hmmph. But don't worry, look forward to more fun videos coming up! Thanks for reading xx