// Prolly the worst feeling in the world //

Don't you just hate the feeling when you get disappointed at yourself or someone else?
You know that shitty feeling and it's so shitty you know, just so shitty.
whether is it a test you prepared for a long period, a performance you practiced so hard, maybe even disappointing someone who had a little expectation from you.
And you wish you could be given a second chance but then it's impossible.

Recently, don't ask why but due to a certain issue, i just felt so disappointed in myself.
It wasn't the results that disappointed me, it was that i didn't take the full use of the chance i was given in the beginning despite knowing what the outcomes would be.
And it's so saddening cause there's no turning back.
Although i know i could have done a better job than before,
it's over.
And i start to blame myself and get all sad.
Then maybe after awhile i decide to pull myself together and do my best with what i got
but everytime i turn around, i see my mistake is still following me
and i get so frustrated, confused and angry at myself.
But it's already too late.

Yes that feeling.
It's so crappy and sad
and it's worst when you disappoint someone.
you get scared that they'll give up on you and all.
and it's like you couldn't even accomplish a little of their expectation from you.
sigh.

And i guess everyone deserves a second chance but not everyone is given a second chance.
This is prolly the worst feeling in the world.

Childhood

nihaoma hahahaha

pardon my lack of update of my blog man
eoy was pretty much a burden sigh
in a few more months, 2013 will be ending man wow that's quickkk
sooo although children day past last week I decided to blog about it
yes i am aware that i'm 14 already HAHAA

Okay so i was born in Korea on 14 of feb.
My parents had to stop working (( in singapore )) and went back to give birth
to my bro and i.
i stayed in korea for about 2 weeks and then came back to sg hahah
my childhood was practically spent in sg
so much memories man gosh

I remember my old house had a backyard which we (( neighbour's kids )) would run around
playing catching and hide and seek, then we would play hopscotch and all the other games.
it was really unforgettable sigh
then we would like play with chalks and like doodle on the floor and when it rains, the chalk would be
washed off and i would cry about it really hard HAHAHAAH
then we would spend days running around and all
sigh those days man

(( graduation picture ))

kindergarden was the best man, i attended a church like school hahaha
we would play, learn, dance and all
then teachers would usually ask what we wanted to be when we grew up
" policeman! "
" doctor! "
" hmm, teacher! "
these were the common answers hahaha
i wanted to be a model (( according to my mama ))

I swear when i was younger everything seemed really carefree and fun.
my bestie was disney channel, my love was alphabet biscuits and my fav was dolls and toys.
I was looking forward to growing up to live with my friend or even myself.
but now i don't wish to grow up.
When i was younger, my family and i would always have family outings to the beach,
malaysia and all.
OMG I STILL REMEMBER WHEN MY BRO AND I WOULD FIGHT ABOUT
THE CHANNELS AHAHHA
I WOULD WANT TO WATCH HIFIVE AND HE WOULD WANT TO WATCH
POWER RANGERS AHAAHHAHA
then my gameboy omg HAAHAH i would play Mario or Pokemon omg
all that childhood stuff omg ahahah
But now that we all grew up, things have changed a lot sigh.

p3. it was exactly p3 when all the drama started HAHAHAHAH
crappy huh ikr
i had many besties from both genders hahaha
belinda germaine tommy chun hung yeahhh
everyday i would fight and dislike one of the girls and all the immature crap
and till this day, i wonder why was i so immature and basic when i was younger.
despite that i'm glad to be still in touch with belinda bby

As i grew, things got worst man its like both in a good and bad way i guess
And i'm glad for the things that happened so far cause they made me who i am now
i really wished i could control time sigh haha
but since i cant, i learnt to live in that moment and enjoy it.

happy belated childrens day i guess HAAHAHAH
peter pan once said " dont grow up, it's a trap."

i really like that line HAHAAH

(( deep ))

Omg yes guy i finally got my penny bby omgomgomg

i got the same one as joy yes i know we fab HHAHAHA

we cruise around a lot now omg its damn fun

my bby its so purdy

so for the past few days i either cruise or go out or just lay at home

watching many episodes of Pretty Little Liars ITS SO NICE OMG while enjoying my cup of 

hot chocolate with marshmallows hahaha Swiss Miss has the best hot choco with marshmallows

i swear

okay so now our results are out and i'm disappointed with myself sigh

anyways next week we're confirming our class and all so I'm pretty afraid

2014 is right around the corner sigh. it's goodbye to my seniors and friends soon

good luck to the people taking their o's!

It's so sad my seniors are leaving and i'm getting separated from my friends soon sigh

goodbye xx